just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
