"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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