This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
