well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
