If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Houston, we have a squirter
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
