Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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