She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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