I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
