Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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