This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
