YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
"it" just moved
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
