i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
What did we do last night that was yellow?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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