Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
