I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
