oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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