Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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