I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
