I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
