You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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