do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
