I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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