were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
someone owes me an orgasm
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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