my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
