is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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