Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
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After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
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I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.