Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.