I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.