Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound