so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
No subtext here. People are naked.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled