I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I think your dad took our porno
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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