ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
