Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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