why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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