Kareoke will never be a sober sport
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
