When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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