does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
