so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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