she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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