about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize