i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
