I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
