yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Are we still banned from the library?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
