Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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