So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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