I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
