He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
