after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
