You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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