i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
