i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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