It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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