The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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