I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
