Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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