That's intense
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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