thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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