I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
