new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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