I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
