You work out of a Hotel?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
