At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
