pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
