was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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