I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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