Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
