Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
