you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
