I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
