There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It's Friday. Sex?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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