Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
