Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
This gyro tastes like lonliness
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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